Peter Howard the Shark interviews Ben Van Rensburg

How are you this morning? Ben thank you for taking the time to talk to us , Could you tell us something about the building we are in right now?

I'm alright thanks shag, a little tired as it was so hot last night and i found it hard to sleep. You mean the abattoir? Yeah its a shame its the only place we could get on such short notice for this interview but if you dont mind the stench of slaughtered meat and the cries of dying animals then you're a bit of a nobber..as i do mind it and ive got my eyes closed. Those fucking T-Bones look nice though.

They do look delicious do you have a celebrity Crush?

(Ben sighs and rolls his eyes at me) Yes..i think we all know who that's on!

Is there anything in the rumours about you and Lisa Scott Lee, you were pictured at the Gourmet Burger Bar in Londons trendy west end.

(He looks me straight in the eyes, I can sense animosity) Lisa and I are good friends, she is such a talented musician and the fulcrum of the pioneers known as Steps. I am in awe of her and so felt it neccessary to buy her a delicious meat sandwiched between two rye baps of the highest quality. Do you have any questions regarding the actual event I am promoting?

Er of course sorry, what do you look for when you are booking a band/artist for this event?

They've got to be very sexy and ultimately talented and a bit different/unique. We're trying to stay away from the middle-of-the-road garbage that you may be unfortunate enough to hear on heart radio every day. We just want bands that rock and can play with the best of them!

What is your stance?

full blooded lunge mate

Where do you stand on the Conservative Budget?

I'm all over it like hot grease

Fantastic. When organising this event for the very first time in 2006, did you ever think it would be as successful as it was? And what do you think made it that successful?

No to be honest as it was just supposed to be a one off event in memory of my sister and to raise money for proper charities. The fact that it was so succesful gave us no choice, we just had to make it an annual event! It was a great opportunity for kids to get together and listen to some blistering music from the most talented, relative unknowns in the local area. It was raw and bare bones and had a party feel to it while at the same time giving young and upcoming artists a chance to perform on stage, push mixtapes, demo's etc.THAT is what i think made it such a success and why we are currently witnessing a decline with regards to the other event.

Excellent answer thank you. What is your favourite cheese and why?

Red leicester, because its as good as cheddar but basically, its red/orange.

Oh yes I can certainly agree with that, w

hat is significant about the Date and Venue for this years Twang in the Pu

b?

The venue is significant because it is the original venue which first hosted this magnificent event..the date is completely coincidental and people always look aghast when i tell them the date. Ha. Aghast. Agoose. A female goose.

(I chuckle heartlessly) just a couple more,

where did you get that!?

I downloaded it off z.share without paying i hasten to add suckers!!

Hrmm yes. I hear you and Cheese are recording a new album together, great to hear you guys back in the studio after all these years, Especially after the bovine incident. When is the album due for release and have you got a name for it yet?

We are recording a mixtape yes..it will be called the kingsley park mixtape volume 2 ( a follow up to the original kingsley park mixtape) that was solely Cheese involved with the bovine incident, not me, I came later and found him.

It was a terrible affair for all involved. If you had to sum up twang in the pub in half a word what would it be?

Fuc

Lastly if you could, would you?

Nah..even if i was tall enough

No i dont think i would either, far too messy. Well id like to thank you once again its been wonderful speaking to you. Thank you Ben Van Rensburg

Ben will be signing copies of his autobiography "The Boy in the Sandpit" and his most recent novel "The Pedestrians Finger" at Waterstones in Darlington, York, Pontefract, Worksop, Lincoln, Mansfield, Loughborough, Nuneaton, Daventry and Finally Leighton Buzzard.